- The term "gay marriage" is much more common, so readers are more likely to go to Google or another search engine and type "gay marriage" than they are to type "same-sex marriage." Since I wanted readers to be able to easily find my writing on the subject, I went with the more common phrase.
- I had no objection to the phrase, since the only people I knew who were interested in same-sex marriage identified as lesbian or gay, or identified as bisexuals in lesbian or gay relationships.
But now I've switched to "same-sex marriage." Why? Four reasons:
- Same-sex marriages need not actually involve lesbian or gay partners. One or both partners might be bisexual or asexual--or even heterosexual. It's not really any of my business.
- Likewise, many opposite-sex marriages are technically gay marriages. Gay men and lesbians often marry members of the opposite sex (who might be heterosexual or might also be gay), and for a variety reasons (denial, mutually agreed-upon financial convenience, or simply to construct a more effective closet, to name three examples that come to mind).
- There has been so much hostility directed against same-sex marriage under the terminology of "gay marriage" that the phrase almost sounds like a pejorative now. The more accurate terminology of same-sex marriage has a less painful history.
- It has become clear to me that in recent years the gay rights movement has largely adopted the language of same-sex marriage. While not all gay rights activists use the term, there has been a noticeable increase in its use by activists, and a decline in use of the phrase "gay marriage," over the past few years.